It makes me feel alive

I’m saying too much of what I need to hear.

The scars around my neck announce themselves- the problem is they’re invisible. My invisible source of guiltless pleasure- I deserve it.

I left my body twice today- once when I woke up, the second time I was lying down, I never felt more in touch with myself.

Numbness colonizes each part of my corpse- it makes each cell slowly tingle into casual disparity.

I try to talk, but some words are too heavy to enter others’ ears.

So I lay down and relinquish the wrestle with majestic pain; after all, it makes me feel alive.

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